A Florida Poem
(Written on a wet March day in England)
From this far away,
I remember the day
Miami was mine.
The day fine and bright
Was transformed into night
By hotel bars,
Whose gloom tinted the room
To make their welcome warm.
And cars, cool in contrast
To afternoon heat
Ran us down a street
Where nobody walked,
But everyone talked.
Hey! It was just great
To meet for real the sunshine girls
With come to bed eyes.
It was quite a surprise
To realise, that,
“Have a nice day”
Can be more than just
Something they say
When you pay,
But perhaps their way
Of reflecting the sun,
And implying that fun
Is a possible way
Of making the day
Come alive,
And allowing the night
To arrive with a promise
Of something new,
Where you, or you, or you, and I
Could span the gap
Of culture, time and distance
With an insistence strong enough
To make our feelings real,
And our meeting seem
To make a peal of English Sunday Bells
Sound small and very far away.
So,
“Have a Nice Day”,
“You’re Welcome!”
© James Rainsford 2011
Note to readers: The above is written in tribute to a fabulous time I once enjoyed in the Sunshine State, where I received more hospitality than I ever expected, and enjoyed more sex than I deserved, or ever thought possible. So I post this in grateful thanks to the gorgeous girls who made my visit so very, very memorable. God bless America! James ;-).
After all your gorgeous words, James, my first thought is still "Nice buns!" as to the girl in the photo. :)
ReplyDeleteBut.... as to your gorgeous words... those "come-to-bed eyes" is a nice touch. And LOVE the peal of English church bells. Wish they could ring every 5 minutes in the mists of my mind.
Oh my gosh, this is so funny! Congratulations on all your unexpected and undeserved action. :P
ReplyDeleteHere's my favorite part:
"With an insistence strong enough
To make our feelings real"
You well-captured that dizzy feeling of pseudo-love.
~poetrypastiche.blogspot.com
Very interesting poem. The rhyme scheme you chose seems to interrupt the flow toward the beginning of the poem. You shine when you use new metaphors and inner rhymes in
ReplyDelete"To make our feelings real,
And our meeting seem
To make a peal of English Sunday Bells
Sound small and very far away."
Your easy rhymes compliment the theme of the poem, though. :)
wow...i lived in FL for 2-3 years...guess i had my first kid there too so you may be onto something...ha...hey about to go to bed...so promise i will spin through in the morning and offer any crit i got for you...great to see you james....
ReplyDeleteA strong poem. You handled both rhime and rhythm very well.
ReplyDeleteMy first visit to your poem turned out to be quite the experience for me, as I thought I would be behind you at dVerse critique but I was too late this week. I found that out after having gone through my file of old poems to submit one that mentions a famous prostitute in old Virginia City, Nevada, having been reminded of it by your most excellent poem.
ReplyDeleteSo, this is not an official critique (would have been my first and I am glad for the reprieve). Let me just say that, as one who grew up in Nevada where prostitution is legal, your poem would be beloved by so many of the men I knew...beginning back before they were men, because it was in ninth grade when the first boy in our class got into Mustang Ranch and therefore made class history! You really pegged the celebratory sense I recall from their stories. It really couldn't be a more perfect poem for the topic. It's classic!