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Saturday 31 March 2012

Nightmare


  

       Struggling to surface from
       sleep's deepest trench
       I smell the stench of life's decay,
       and desire the day's release
       from night's clammy dreams.
       My silent screams are only heard
       by the hellish bird
       which plucked the viscid eyeball
       from my screaming skull
       to leave me sightless,
       desperate for a dawn
       I'll never see.



Note to readers: posted in respone to Poetics at dVerse Poets, guest hosted this evening by the incomparable Stuart McPherson. Your views are welcome. Just click on the comments link below.

17 comments:

  1. seems like this is one dream you will not escape unscathed...that has got to hurt as well...smiles. nice touch on all the sense in short work as well...

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  2. Oooof- this was AWESOME James- very classical in a sense- reminding me of a lovecraftian jaunt- lovely use of language- just perfectly picked words- 'the hellish bird that plucked my visit eyeball from my screaming skull'- fantastic. Sleep well James!

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  3. Now that was definitely one nightmarish poem! And the picture was a perfect, albeit frightenng, choice.

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  4. Whoa, James--you definitely tripped me up with this one,starting rather simply with an image that made me think of the equivalence of sleep with the Mariana Trench, and then launching into total, fullscale nightmare. Very well done, and in such a tight framework, even more impressive.

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  5. Perfect James! Potent power write...my eyes are my own, and we're going to keep it that way...right? We should almost do this prompt again tomorrow...I know I'm in for an interesting REM period!

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  6. Had some bad dreams - but never that bad! Pesky birds and excellent write!

    Anna :o]

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  7. Very nice, I especially relished the use of viscid, deliciously disgusting.

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  8. You mention eyeballs, and I am hooked. ;)

    Love the ending:
    "which plucked the viscid eyeball
    from my screaming skull
    to leave me sightless,
    waiting for a dawn
    I'll never see"

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  9. The picture and your words...yikes James. A nightmare poem very well done ~

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  10. Urgh....eyeballs....lol...so good, James. Real intensity in so few words...that picture's great, too!

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  11. I knew there was something about those birds I did not like...

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  12. Some classic horror imagery woven into a compelling read. Glad I didn't meet that bird before I had chance to read this.

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  13. Brief and to the point, James. I can smell that eyeball; the searing pain of its removal and the bloody aftertaste!

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  14. Ravens are very scary to me for some reason...a chiller of a piece. Wonderful work!

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  15. Hi,

    Interesting write the call of the raven makes my legs wobble..

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If you wish your views and opinions to be published here, please be polite and respectful. I welcome feedback on my work and will try to respond if you take the trouble to post a comment. Thanks for visiting 'The Sanctum of Sanity.' Hope you enjoyed the experience, James.