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Tuesday 22 May 2012


Eagle

Picture supplied by The River Journal as their prompt
for their spring poetry competition.


Emblem of lost tribes,
whose chiefs, like envious thieves
had stolen your impressive plumes
to mark their earthbound victories
and deck their ancient tombs
with feathers from your noble flight.

With might upon their conquering side
long departed legions, marched beneath
your wings and Rome’s green laurel wreath,
bringing death and desperate grief.
Instilling in barbarian hearts
fear of your talon's sudden strike.

More potent still, was the collective will
of more ambitious states.
Whose inventiveness increased your skill
to kill out of the blue,
raining from an azure sky
new and industrial ways to die.

© James Rainsford 2012



Note to readers:  I posted this poem as my entry to the Spring Poetry Challenge at River Journal.
It didn't wiin. However, I've extensively rewritten the original and I believe it's now good enough to share here at Open Link Night.
The worthy winner was Mark Windham with his poem: 'Wounded.' http://bit.ly/KqHUx9.
I hope you'll all go and read his entry. it's a deserving winner.
Kind regards to all who visit the pub this evening and thank you for visiting here. James.


19 comments:

  1. the eagle is still the symbol on the german coat of arms...formerly known as the reichsadler...the killing out of the blue brought back war times..tight write james

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  2. nice allusions in that last stanza to the states and our ability to make war and also come up with new ways to die for sure...and even a circle back in the opening to those we killed off along the way...

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  3. This is a strong piece James. Very nice. Especially like the first stanza with its sound and flow.

    Thank you for the mention!

    Mark

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  4. wow, what a last three lines, agree with and like all the above, the historical link, the future ways to die, and the sound and flow...

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  5. James...this is seriously fantastic! The read is just flawless, and the power, of the subject and your words remains long after the reading is done. I have to say, I think it might be my new favorite. On another note...I'm about to dive into Education Edukation eDukdsHUN...just arrived in the post this morning!

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  6. Definitely good enough...in fact, excellent. A powerful poem that fits the symbology of the eagle.

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  7. This is a mighty and majestic piece. I especially like the 1st stanza. I'm glad you shared it here, James.

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  8. Just an excellent piece James--I especially love the last 2 lines--just a wonderfully powerful piece.

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  9. This is a very strong piece of writing..the eagle is very symbolic and I have a deep respect for this creature who has such keen eyesight. To gaze upon this bird's beauty leaves me awestruck.

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  10. So good...eagles fly over our ranch all the time, and as they argue their supremacy in the sky with each other, vultures and the stray high flying goose or crane I can't help but remember all the peoples who have idolized that bird. Really great write.

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  11. I like the use of the tribes of eagles as symbols ~ Enjoyed the write James ~

    Happy day to you ~

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  12. Powerful and good write...great lines here...More potent still, was the collective will
    of more ambitious states.
    Whose inventiveness increased your skill
    to kill out of the blue,
    raining from an azure sky
    new and industrial ways to die.

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  13. "More potent still" are the words that flow from your fingertips. Noble flights... sudden strikes... this revised write would win now, I've no doubt.

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  14. Thanks for all the encouraging comments. Truly appreciated.

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  15. Hello,
    Powerful, and written with such skill, left me breathless with wonder.Intellectually stimulating.Perfection.

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  16. This is a strong idea conceptualized adroitly and neatly tied up in the packages of each stanza making a unified whole that builds to a fine, well-collected and succinct finish. I enjoyed it much, James.

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  17. That last line is brutally beautiful!

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  18. James, Once again, I visit your blog without quite knowing what to expect and each time know that I will leave with a sense of wonder. The eagle defines strength, pride and regal bearing to me and you have expressed those feelings eloquently. Wonderful.

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  19. Whenever I see real eagles in flight, I experience exhilaration, accompanied by an understanding of how this wonderfully-free creature can so naturally be symbolically co-opted into a political beast. I get the same feeling and understanding reading you here, and I didn't have to go to where the eagles soar, you brought them down to me--very well done!

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If you wish your views and opinions to be published here, please be polite and respectful. I welcome feedback on my work and will try to respond if you take the trouble to post a comment. Thanks for visiting 'The Sanctum of Sanity.' Hope you enjoyed the experience, James.