Tuesday, 5 June 2012

How a conference speech
 was saved by a marvel of modern medicine
A tribute to the effectiveness of 'Loperamide Hydrochloride' 

He left home that morning in terrible fear,
That his speech would be soiled by renewed diarrhoea
And that delegates waiting to savour his wit,
Would be all too aware of his great need to shit.

Yet he needn’t have worried as he mounted the podium,
For he’d taken two capsules of trusty ‘Imodium,’
So all of the delegates heard his wise words,
While the medicine worked to firm-up his turds.

© James Rainsford 2012

Note to readers: This poem came about, because some time ago, I was (incorrectly) diagnosed with I.B.S. Ah, good I thought, 'Irritable Brain Syndrome,' that explains a great deal. Unfortunately, the doctor informed me that the acronym stood for 'Irritable Bowel Syndrome,' a condition, which for many people amounts to the same thing. 
He thoughtfully recommended the wonder drug 'Loperamide Hydrochloride,' whose trade name in the UK is 'Imodium.' Now there's a fine word I thought. What rhymes with 'Imodium?' Well, some candidates are: 'sodium,' 'rhodium,' 'symposium' and 'podium.' But I really liked 'podium' and consequently, due to I.B.S. I was 'moved' in more ways than one, to create this little poetic gem.
Hope you all enjoy.
Kind regards to all at the pub tonight.
Your views are welcome, just click on the comments tab below.


  1. What a clever way with words...rhymes nicely and all is well with (...)the speech...bkm

  2. thank goodness for modern medicine you know...and enchanting rhyme..i am tempted to comment on your flow but that seems mildly inappropriate here...smiles...ha...

  3. OMG This is awesomely authentic, James! I know and can feel your pain! Ibi, factum. Very well done, my man!

  4. Still totally blowing cola out my nostrils, James. This is hilarious, and one of my instant favorites of yours. Thanks for the wonderful 'vowel movement.'

  5. no subject safe from the poetic brain. :-) love it.

  6. A fun write, James.....:)

  7. I like the wit in this I mean poetic share :-)

  8. fun, freaking fantastic! I'm drawing strange looks from the family room...I don't often laugh out loud...

  9. LMAO oh the cat so enjoyed this little bit of shit and yeah Imodium does wonders when you need to hold it in and not look like you are about to explode..haha

  10. An absorbing easily digested rythm here Jaemes. Excellent fun!

    Anna :o]

  11. This is so funny...I am laughing so hard I am snorting...


If you wish your views and opinions to be published here, please be polite and respectful. I welcome feedback on my work and will try to respond if you take the trouble to post a comment. Thanks for visiting 'The Sanctum of Sanity.' Hope you enjoyed the experience, James.