The Sanctum of Sanity

How a conference speech
 was saved by a marvel of modern medicine
or,
A tribute to the effectiveness of 'Loperamide Hydrochloride' 

He left home that morning in terrible fear,

That his speech would be soiled by renewed diarrhoea

And that delegates waiting to savour his wit,

Would be all too aware of his great need to shit.

Yet he needn’t have worried as he mounted the podium,

For he’d taken two capsules of trusty ‘Imodium,’

So all of the delegates heard his wise words,

While the medicine worked to firm-up his turds.

© James Rainsford 2012

Note to readers: This poem came about, because some time ago, I was (incorrectly) diagnosed with I.B.S. Ah, good I thought, 'Irritable Brain Syndrome,' that explains a great deal. Unfortunately, the doctor informed me that the acronym stood for 'Irritable Bowel Syndrome,' a condition, which for many people amounts to the same thing. 

He thoughtfully recommended the wonder drug 'Loperamide Hydrochloride,' whose trade name in the UK is 'Imodium.' Now there's a fine word I thought. What rhymes with 'Imodium?' Well, some candidates are: 'sodium,' 'rhodium,' 'symposium' and 'podium.' But I really liked 'podium' and consequently, due to I.B.S. I was 'moved' in more ways than one, to create this little poetic gem.

Hope you all enjoy.

Kind regards to all at the pub tonight.
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