Nightmare
Struggling to surface from
sleep's deepest trench
I smell the stench of life's decay,
and desire the day's release
from night's clammy dreams.
My silent screams are only heard
by the hellish bird
which plucked the viscid eyeball
from my screaming skull
to leave me sightless,
desperate for a dawn
I'll never see.
Note to readers: posted in respone to Poetics at dVerse Poets, guest hosted this evening by the incomparable Stuart McPherson. Your views are welcome. Just click on the comments link below.
seems like this is one dream you will not escape unscathed...that has got to hurt as well...smiles. nice touch on all the sense in short work as well...
ReplyDeleteOooof- this was AWESOME James- very classical in a sense- reminding me of a lovecraftian jaunt- lovely use of language- just perfectly picked words- 'the hellish bird that plucked my visit eyeball from my screaming skull'- fantastic. Sleep well James!
ReplyDeleteNow that was definitely one nightmarish poem! And the picture was a perfect, albeit frightenng, choice.
ReplyDeleteWhoa, James--you definitely tripped me up with this one,starting rather simply with an image that made me think of the equivalence of sleep with the Mariana Trench, and then launching into total, fullscale nightmare. Very well done, and in such a tight framework, even more impressive.
ReplyDeletePerfect James! Potent power write...my eyes are my own, and we're going to keep it that way...right? We should almost do this prompt again tomorrow...I know I'm in for an interesting REM period!
ReplyDeleteHad some bad dreams - but never that bad! Pesky birds and excellent write!
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
Very nice, I especially relished the use of viscid, deliciously disgusting.
ReplyDeleteYou mention eyeballs, and I am hooked. ;)
ReplyDeleteLove the ending:
"which plucked the viscid eyeball
from my screaming skull
to leave me sightless,
waiting for a dawn
I'll never see"
The picture and your words...yikes James. A nightmare poem very well done ~
ReplyDeleteUrgh....eyeballs....lol...so good, James. Real intensity in so few words...that picture's great, too!
ReplyDeleteI knew there was something about those birds I did not like...
ReplyDeleteSome classic horror imagery woven into a compelling read. Glad I didn't meet that bird before I had chance to read this.
ReplyDeleteOh, perfect!
ReplyDeleteBrief and to the point, James. I can smell that eyeball; the searing pain of its removal and the bloody aftertaste!
ReplyDeletescreams in the skull are awful
ReplyDeletesemantic feeling
Ravens are very scary to me for some reason...a chiller of a piece. Wonderful work!
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteInteresting write the call of the raven makes my legs wobble..