Friday, 3 December 2010

England's Barmy Bid to host the 2018 World Cup
thankfully, goes down the drain.

 Cameron is saying: 'Now then Wills, I hope Becks and I get good seats at your forthcoming nuptials.' 

The deluded trio of triers who thought we could win

So England's bid to stage the 2018 football world cup is brilliantly kicked into touch by FIFA, despite England fielding their three best strikers, Cameron, Windsor and ('you know') Beckham.

As usual, the loyal, supportive and mendacious British media did all in its power to scupper the bid, by accusing key members of FIFA of corruption. The fact that the accusations were probably correct, did not lessen their impact, nor do anything, but cynically and deliberately undermine the England bid.

What amazes me, is that knowing that FIFA is riddled with corruption, we still spent over 15 million pounds mounting a bid, (in a time of savage cuts) which common sense should have told us we had no prospect of winning.

If, by our own 'high' moral standards we are not prepared to pay significant bribes to those who have the power to award the event, then we should not have entered the race. I cannot believe that those responsible for the bid were so naive, as to believe that the bid process offered them a level playing field.  

Russia, with all its reputation for underhand dealing now fully confirmed, is undoubtedly a very worthy winner. It made no accusations concerning corrupt FIFA committee members. It presented the weakest bid, It has the worst infrastructure, the most unreliable transport, the most violent fans, the absolutely worst hotel accommodation, the fewest completed stadiums and its Prime Minister did not even attend to lobby the committee. I wonder if Putin's laid back and apparently unconcerned attitude demonstrated the ultimate in 'cool,' or was evidence that he possessed some information we did not ? 

Still, we can all console ourselves with the knowledge, that in 2018 the closest England will come to victory is likely to be the running battles our unruly fans will have with the Russian police, always providing of course, that our dismal team is talented enough to qualify for the finals.

Other, less immediately appreciated benefits of our failure to win the bid, will be that our own wonderfully peaceful and harmonious multicultural society, will not be inundated with hoards of uncouth and ill disciplined foreign football supporters and armies of foreign journalists, who hate us with an all consuming passion, and who would write nothing about us, but lies, complain and whine constantly about our abysmal cuisine and treat our hospitality with contempt.

Also, we'll be largely spared the sickening media obsession with our so called national sport and hopefully be subjected to slightly less coverage regarding the health, wealth, loves and unimaginably boring lives of our hopelessly outclassed players; and best of all, we may all hear less of Adrian Chiles' appalling chummy Brummie accent. 

So, on balance, I think it's a bloody good thing we didn't win the bid to stage this expensive, meaningless and ludicrous competition.


  1. Bixy in Thailand4 December 2010 at 02:30

    A Caption for the photo: "Of course we could rent out our facilities to the Russians!"

  2. A good read sir!Would like to hear what you think of Qatar getting the 2022 world cup.


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